evan t perry

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The Adventures of Mr Norbert Waggles - Part 4

3 February - It has been nearly a year since the passing of Scout the Cat of Willis and I could sense that my caregivers had grown weary of my constant pontifications about squirrel-kind. I’m sure that their pending matrimony had nothing to do with the depressive atmosphere between them! Anyway, there has been rumblings about filling Scout’s vacant position in the household. I have mixed feelings: I enjoy being the sole object of affection not to mention the ample time I’ve had to write several important legal texts regarding American Pit Bull Terrier linages of which I am 25% and - if you must know - 25% Labrador Retriever, and 50% mix of sporting and other terriers. But I digress! I do care for my caregivers: They have homed me after all! I do hope that they find happiness and if that means the addition of another member in our cabinet, than so be it.

Ove the Kitten

Cont’d - After hours away from the homestead, my caregivers have returned . . . with a young brute! He is white, fluffy, and the dumbest puppy I have ever encountered. His sense of humor is limited to fart jokes and he frequently flatulates upon my face. Ugh. I have not trained for this! Reluctantly, I have taken it upon myself to teach the youngling his place in the household and his duty to protect our caregivers from insects and spiders. He has been given the name Ove after a fictional Frenchman. Interesting choice for an unsophisticated and sophomoric individual. One can hope that with age will come wisdom.

12 March - What a day of sorrow and whoa! Ove has been admitted to surgery in the next town and will spend the night alone. What he has experienced in his short time on Earth has been excruciating to say the least and, dare I say, much worse a trauma than my time running the streets of Jasper, Tennessee. Shortly after being brought into the household, he developed a discoloring and swelling of the eye and, alas, it cannot be saved. Now, the caregivers have put his young life in the hands of surgeons who will remove the afflicted eye. Thankfully, he is still far too dumb to understand this loss and, should he survive the procedure, be none-the-wiser.

Ove and the cone of shame.

Cont’d - Ove is a broken and depressed child. He survived the surgery, but now must be restrained and wear a conical device over his head. It is a very pathetic sight. I have not been able to cheer him up and the caregivers have turned all their attention to him and his recovery. It is a miracle that I am even fed on time!